Geese

Today on the way to word I saw the largest flock of geese I have ever seen flying over. It was awe inspiring for me, that huge number of animals traveling together and working together in the air. They take turns in the front you know. These weren't in one large V but were grouped in a couple smaller V's with some just grouped together like they had just taken off. It just took my breath away and made me immediately think of God and how grateful I am for his amazing creation.

Arguments

I get so tired of politics and all of the arguing. I am convinced that it doesn't matter how much or little a group of people agrees on they will always find something to argue about. Even a small town with completely homogeneous religious, political and cultural views can be divided about something small like where to build the new school. It can completely tear apart a community. And I think it is ridiculous! People apparently by nature have to exist in a "them" and "us" world. The more diverse the overall population, the more diverse the group that can be included in "us". But we have to have these groups and we have to argue and fight and disagree with "them". And if you argue with me too much I will move you from being an "us" to being a "them". And I just get so tired of it. Really, really tired...

Sick

I'm sick, and I'm very tired of being sick. I'm not quite sick enough to stay home from work, but just sick enough to make it difficult to get through the day.

Animals

I love having animals in my life. They bring my such joy and comfort, I really can't imagine living in a no-pets home.

I love that when I come home there is always someone who is glad to see me. I love watching them play and fight and run around like crazy. I love that when I am upset they all come and lay near me (or on me).

I know that is a large responsibility, and a sometimes large cost to keep animals. But in my life it is so worth it.

Today

Today is a better day, the sun is brighter. It is easier to do what needs to be done.

Not easy, but not as hard as it was.

Faith is hard.

Inside

I don't feel awake so much as I feel not asleep. I want to stay inside all day, not go out into the over-stimulating world. Interacting with people wears me out, it takes all of my energy to do it right. Have to control facial expressions, tone of voice, reaction time, everything. When I start to wear out I get crabby, short with people, I cut people off and talk to much. Interaction is always harder for me than it seems to be for other people, but even more so at times like this. I'm having a hard time imagining how I will make it through the holidays.

Healing

The problem with starting to heal is you can see where you want to be and realize how far away you are. When you are in the middle of it you can't see much of anything it is easy to feel it isn't so bad. So many things need to be done and now I see them. I feel like I am wrapped up in a think layer of cotton balls. Nothing is quite right, moving is difficult, small tasks become gigantic.

Almost forgot to post!

Posting

Finding it hard to post everyday for NaBloPoMo. I always feel like I should have something interesting, entertaining or at least cathartic to say if I am going to post. And usually when I think of it I don't have much to say. And I am so busy that I'm amazed I haven't missed a day yet.

Sick

Think I might be getting sick, no energy, sore throat, congestion. No coughing or fever yet so I can still go out in public...