[I don't think that anyone reads my blog, so then I don't post. But obviously if I don't post, no one will ever start reading it. I understand the terrible cyclical nature of the problem...I just feel silly writing to no one sometimes...]
I am giving up sweets for Lent. I have never done any such thing before. I think the more accurate term is something like Lenten sacrifice but I 'm not sure. The idea is to make a change that focuses part of your day and/or mind on God when it normally wouldn't be. For example, whenever you would normally do whatever you are giving up you focus on God instead.
Or when someone asks you "You want a girl scout cookie?" and you are questioning the wisdom of giving up sweets at the beginning of girl scout cookie season, you think about God and why you are making that decision. That no matter how much I want that cookie, I want God more and that makes the sacrifice worthwhile. I am still kind of experimenting with this fasting/sacrificing concept, rolling it around in my mind. I decided I was going to do it before I had a really solid idea of why. It feels kind of like I am at the very edge of a very deep lake, so deep you can never really find the bottom of it. And I am just kind of splashing my toes in the edges of it.
If I think too much about the deep parts it makes me want to get out entirely. I mean, there is nothing inherently wring or ungodly about a girl scout cookie, why shouldn't I have one if I want? So far I haven't "cheated" (I don't really know what to call it even). A friend made fudge at our house last weekend and left it here. It has been sitting in the fridge all week. This morning I took it to work and left it in the office and told them I would take my tupperware back unless it was empty.
There is something about sacrifice that brings up a lot of emotions for me. Feelinsg like I should have to go without something I want. Feelings of guilt for even having so much in the first place when so many people have so little. It is very confusing and I have to sort through it just a little bit at a time or I get overwhelmed.
Friday, February 27, 2009
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I read it! I am not celebrating Lent, but I am not totally opposed to it. I actually fasted every Thursday of Lent one year even. I think one of the big issues "Protestants" have with it is that it is a ritual for more Catholics, and hence, it doesn't have any meaning. Plus, I know people who give up things that are too easy to give up. The purpose of giving it up is not that it is a bad thing, but that instead of indulging in that you should focus on God. So, maybe you could find something to do for God when ever you are tempted? It could be as simple as a little prayer!
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