Science...

I get tired of the attitude that somehow God and science are mutually exclusive. That if/since one believe in God, science is irrelevant, untrue, unimportant, or even evil. I don't know how we forget that at one time Christians believed that the world was flat, the sky was held up by four pillars, the Sun went around the Earth and the ocean was prowled by a sea monster. And somehow we have come to accept more scientific views of all of those things without it annihilating the existence of belief in God. We have come to accept the existence of cells, bacteria, atoms and that didn't somehow disprove God. I truly believe that some of the things we find most controversial now (like the church and Galileo) will eventually be accepted in the same way we accept that matter is made of atoms and that the Earth goes around the Sun. There are still people who don't think those things are true, but very few.

I also get tired of the attitude that science and scientific discoveries are unimportant and we should somehow be using that time better. Usually this attitude is help by people who actively benefit from previous scientific discoveries without even realizing it. Many of the things we find so important (even your basic Scotch tape) were originally looked at as silly and useless ("You mean I'm going to take this little piece of clear plastic with sticky stuff on one side and fix things with it? That's ridiculous...")

Of course I get just as tired of scientific people being dismissive of a belief in God, but that will have to wait for another day.

NaBloPoMo

Made it! (will post more later if I have time, but I didn't want to risk missing it on the last day)

Swearing

Lately I have been extremely aware of people swearing around me. Not like it is happening more often, just that I am much more aware when it happens. I don't usually swear at all, except occasionally when I am very frustrated, angry or hurt (like I just cut myself or something). I dont' think much about it, it just isn't really part of my vocabulary. But some people in my life swear a lot, as part of their every day speech. And it is starting to bother me. It's almost physically jarring for me to hear it, because I just don't hear it very often. When I used to teach in a school that did not have language under control at all I heard swearing so often that I barely noticed it. But now it really jumps out at me.

And I don't really know what to do about it.

I know I swear myself (even if it is not very often) and so just because of that I don't fell like I can say something to someone else about it. Plus the fact that I don't like to hear it doesn't really have anything to do with the person's choice of language. Some people really don't like having to hear people talk about God or Jesus or anything related to that. That doesn't change my right to talk about it. I think that they have as much right to be offended by my choice of language as I have to be offended by theirs, even if it isn't exactly an equal comparison. Swearing has become pretty culturally acceptable and if a person doesn't have a personal moral code that forbids it, then why shouldn't they swear?

Things like this always make me think about how we define and talk about "rights". Why does one person have the right to speak their mind, but another person doesn't because people are offended by what they say or how they say it. Why do we have the right to not have to hear foul language but that other person doesn't have an equal right to use whatever language they choose? When we talk about the rights that we have in this country that people fought and died for, why do we pick and choose who gets to have what right in what context? It isn't that I can't understand both sides, its that I understand both sides too well.

And it still leaves me wondering about what to do about my increasingly sensitive ears.

content

I'm still sick, so this will still be short.

I don't know if I have posted about this here or not yet, but I have been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be content. It is something I need to work harder on in my life. The main question I have run into that hasn't been adequately answered yet is this: Does praying for something to change mean you aren't content about it? Or, does being content mean you can never pray for things to change?

busy/sick

sick

It's the day before thanksgiving and I am sick. This means:
1. instead of using sick days I will be sick on days I already have off (both a good and bad thing)
2. I will not be able to go along to one of the Thanksgiving celebrations because it will involve ill, elderly grandparents (bad)

Thankfullness pt 2

• Haagen-Dazs chocolate peanut butter
• puppy kisses
• central heating
• wool socks
• microwaves
• refrigeration
• school lunch
• cell phones
• days off
• premade bread dough
• showers
• eggnog
• Internet
• binder clips
• heat in my car
• bills that are almost paid off
• electric heating mattress pads
• dishwashers
• Haagen-Dazs chocolate peanut butter
• attached garages
• windshield washer fluid
• webcomics

I am having a shallowly introspective day...

"Us" and "Them" - Christianity in America

Great blog entry:

The Heresy of an Unreconciled Church

This is a blog I love to read although it gets quite deep (which I almost always appreciate).

I am still digesting the information so I don't quite know what to say about it yet. I definitely see this happening in churches I have attended. I also can understand people's desires to be around people like themselves, people that don't challenge them or their worldview in any way. And I am also frustrated by this feeling/attitude, especially among white Christians that somehow race just isn't an issue anymore.

Thankfullness

This may be long, so I won't be bothered if you don't read it. The exercise is for me writing it not anyone else reading it.

Things I am thankful for:

• a husband that I love, who loves me and who I get along with a very high percentage of the time
• a house that is solid, protects us from the cold, the rain, has no major flaws that make it difficult to live in
• a garage that keeps my car warm-ish and free from rain and snow
• pets that are wonderful and keep me very good company
• a job that gives me satisfaction
• a car that is reliable and does what I need it to
• a family that loves me and loves God and understands its own flaws and works on correcting them
• friends who help me out and support me when I need it
• income that is sufficient to pay our bills
• a church that I am starting to feel connected to
• a boss who recognizes my skills and abilities
• the many material things that I own that make my life easier, more convenient and more fun
• my God given intellectual and relational abilities
• a warm place to live (a repeat, but lately something I have been genuinely thankful for)
• the ability to take a shower whenever I want, wash my clothes whenever I want
• grandparents who have been spiritual mentors for me, whether they realize it or not
• parents who love me and have supported me through many different choices and challenges
• food, that is accessible and affordable to us
• the fact that I have too many places to choose between for the holidays, when some people have none
• a God who loves me personally, died for me personally and patiently waits for me when I act like a spoiled child in the face of everything he has done for me
• a husband who makes rice pudding for me while I am driving home from work at midnight

I think there will be more of this later on this week but this is all I have time to write right now.

Work

I have worked more hours in the last 2 weeks than I can even contemplate. My brain is scrambled AND fried. I just can't come up with anything deep or interesting to say...

Isaiah 30:15

Isaiah 30:15
This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it."

This verse has been sticking with me for over a year now, particularly the middle "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength".

I seem to have trouble with all 4 of those things: repentance, rest, quietness and trust. I also really recognize the importance of all of them. Why is it so hard to do those things? I can trust people, but I struggle to trust God. I can rest and be quiet physically, but I can't quiet my mind. And even resting physically is difficult most of the time when there is just so much to do.

It isn't that I don't think it is necessary or that I can do a better job than God, I just can't seem to actually make myself do and be what I know is best.

House

No house :(

I'm not really surprised, and I know it will all work out eventually, but I'm still disappointed.

Prayer

I just started reading a book about Imaginative Prayer by Greg Boyd. So far I have basically read the introduction, but it has held my interest. Often books like that I just can't get through even if I want to. It is interesting in that it talks about how in the past it would have been common for people use their imagination, or their "mind's eye" to picture things during prayer, like the Lord's face or the person they were praying for. But now, if you are "visualizing" then you must be doing something "New-Agey".

I'm not sure what I think of the whole thing, but it has definitely got me thinking more about the way I pray.

House

We have a house that we can't sell. We owe more than it is worth, even if we could get someone to buy it. I like the house, but it has some limitations. It is 30 miles from where I work. I don't really like driving anyways, and spending a hour to hour and half of my day, every day, in the car is very frustrating. I love my job and I plan to work there for the foreseeable future, so living so far away is a definite issue.

We also have a pet issue. We love animals and would like to have more, particularly another (probably much larger) dog. Where we live now we have an association that sets limits on the number and size of the pets you can have.

When we bought our house we were first time home buyers, and we were told a number of things that have not been true, about our mortgage, the way we should spend the money we could afford to borrow, even the amount we could really afford to borrow. But we also only planned to stay in this house for 2-3 years. And that was before the job and pet issues. And Next month we will have been here 3 years. And that is hard for me.

I have been working very hard to accept the realities of our current situation and be content with the way things are. Most of the time I do a really good job. But recently I had prayed that if there was any way to get us out of here and into a place closer to work, without the pet restrictions, that He would make that happen. And that if we were supposed to stay that He would help me to be, and stay, content.

And then I didn't really think about it, or mention it to anyone.

And then yesterday my husband said, do you want to live in _______ (town 8 miles from my work)? What??

He told me he had been looking at house swapping sites and had found a house much closer to my work, with a yard for a dog, etc. and the people were looking for a house like ours in our location.

I didn't know what to say or think, I didn't even know he had been looking at houses. I don't know if house swapping is really a good a viable thing to do, I have heard strong and well supported arguments on both sides. I told him to go ahead and email the people, because it couldn't hurt to find out more.

And now I wonder if this is a God thing, or just a world thing. I prayed and something that could be an answer has happened. Or it might be not an answer at all but just something that happened that will fall through, or isn't a good idea in the first place.

I have seen God answer other people prayers in more unlikely and spectacular ways than this, but I also don't want to get my heart set on something that isn't, or shouldn't, work out.

Just too funny...

Get into the pool!

Today my pastor's sermon included a pool metaphor. Lots of people hang out around the pool without ever getting in. They hang out with people who actually swim, but they resist. "It's enough to just be near the water." So many people go to church, hang out with Christians, but never really take the plunge to a life committed to God. Its safer, more predictable to stay on the side of the pool. You can't get in over your head if you never get in at all. It can be scary to commit to God, to let go of control. It's safer to just keep control to yourself, and go to church every week.

I have been in the pool, but then I get scared and get out. I don't think it gets any easier to get back in again.

Sacrifice

A few weeks ago the pastor had the following point:

"Sacrifice, not power, creates lasting influence"

I have been thinking about where in my life I have sacrificed and therefor have influence. There are certain students of mine that I seem to have more influence with than some of the other teachers. I have been thinking about the sacrifices that those students have seen in me to earn that influence.

I have also been wondering where in my life I can make sacrifices where I am not already.

Animals in heaven

I know I have had a lot of short posts lately, but I have been really busy and trying to still post every day. So here's one more short post...

I understand all of the theological arguments that explain why an animal wouldn't be able to go to heaven. Having no soul seems to be the biggest issue. But the thought of eternity without the pet I love so much, and get so much joy from seems unfair. I also know that when we are surrounded by the immediate and immense glory of the presence of God, we won't think of anything but praising him, it will be all we will want to do. We won't have time to think about pets we loved but can no longer be with. But in my flesh-nature focused-on-the-present life I simply cannot fathom that the loss of something I love so much could be permanent.

(I feel I should state that I have not recently lost a pet, but the topic has come up in my mind for other reasons)

Hard...

This posting every day for a month thing is a lot harder that I expected...

Nature vs. Nurture

I heard an interesting discussion of the age old "nature vs. nurture" debate. There has been plenty of research done into whether we turn out the way we do because of our biological genetic make-up (nature) or the way we are raised and our life experiences (nurture). Most of the research has come solidly to the conclusion that it is both, although they still argue about which factor has a larger influence.

But today I heard discussion about the theological parts of this debate. On the one side God makes us who we are, and we have a sinful nature because of the choice to sin by Adam and Eve. That would be the theological nature argument. Then is was pointed out that original choice to sin was influenced by an outside force (the serpent) which would mean that being sinful is a result of nurture, or outside influences.

I don't know what I think about these arguments, or if they have any real theological basis. But it is certainly an interesting way to look at it.

Ever really think about the cross?

Jesus was executed as a criminal. It just happens that the way criminals were executed at that time in that culture was by crucifixion.

Can you imagine people running around with little nooses on chains around there necks? Or a church decorated with guillotines?

It seems really weird, absurd even. But really it would be the same thing, if he had been executed in a different way.

Any other culture/religious group venerate an instrument of criminal execution?

Why images work better than words ever could...

"I follow Peter" "I follow Billy Graham"

Check out this blog posting:

"Serve your God…not your Pastor"
http://petemorse.insightsforchurch.com/2008/09/10/serve-your-godnot-your-pastor/

This is something I know I have occasionally been guilty of, at least in my thoughts. I meet new people and I want to find which pastors/authors the "follow". Whose books have you read and did you agree or disagree? What churchs have you attended/visited and what did you think? For me it tells be a lot about this person's particular brand of Christianity, without having to have long conversation.

Which of course is not the point at all...

Suspension of disbelief

There are definitely times when I feel like I must be a fool to believe in God, and anything else supernatural. As I spend time in science and dealing with the concrete world of what can be proven I sometimes find myself thinking that there is no way there could actually be anything beyond the physical concrete world. It all seems so irrational and illogical. It is easier to believe in atoms, electrons and quarks or in other galaxies, white dwarfs and black holes.

And yet, I do believe. Even when I was angry at God and at the church. Even when I tried to believe in something else, anything else. I found that deep down I truly do believe in God, beyond any question. Even when my rational brain tells me it is impossible, some part of me knows that there really is a God. As unlikely, irrational, illogical, or even foolish at it may be.

Why don't we look like Christ?

I've been reading I John, and I have been struck by a repeating trend. That we (the body of Christ) will be known by the way we look like Christ.

The church in America is not exactly known for being Christ-like.

It is as if they have decided that we don't actually have to do that. That was for those people who lived back then. Now being a Christian means voting certain ways and feeling self-righteous about having certain moral views. Oh, and telling people with different views that they are wrong and going to hell. All things that Christ distinctly did NOT do.

I keep thinking if we would just spend more time concentrating on love (like Jesus...) and less time on guns and gays and everything else, we might be a lot closer to what the kingdom was supposed to be.

Be Content

Lately I have heard about being content or about not being discontent. That is you are discontent with your situation and you try to simply change the situation you will still be discontent. Because discontentedness (is that a word?) is more about you and your own heart than it really is about the situation. If you think "If we only had a bigger house..." or "If we could only afford nicer car..." and then you get that bigger house or nicer car, it won't actually make you content with life. Instead you will probably just find something else to be discontent about. Now you may actually need a bigger house, maybe you have 5 children sharing one bedroom. There are valid reasons for needing those things, but getting them won't suddenly change how you feel about life.

He couldn't have won otherwise...

Leading up to election day, thousands of people prayed for McCain to win. And thousands of people prayed for Obama to win. I heard multiple interviews with people saying they were doing exactly that.

I will also assume that at least a few people did what I did, and prayed that God's will would be done.

I voted my conscience and my beliefs, and voted for Obama. (But really, who doesn't vote their beliefs and conscience? Does anyone really vote for someone for any other reason?) But I did not pray for my candidate, in any race, to win. Instead I prayed that God's will would be done, and did not presume to know God's will in a complex, multifaceted situation. How could I presume that I know as much as God about the hearts of these two men, about what they will actually do if elected? I am more than willing to be wrong on something like this if God just happens to know better than me who should hold a certain office at a certain time. It seems presumtuous to do anything other than humbly pray that God's will be done.

Vote!

Vote!

But don't put your trust in politicians...

Vote!

But don't think we are a more Godly nation because we do...

Vote!

But love those who vote differently than you and those who don't vote at all...

Vote!

But don't get your sense of worth from who you vote for or even your right to vote in the first place...

Vote!

But don't think your vote matters more than God's will...

Vote!

But don't assume your vote IS God's will...

Vote!

But remember that God has existed long before our political systems and will continue to exist long after...

Vote!

But remember that God works through all people in all places regardless of the political party in control...

Vote!

But don't forget that you vote once every few years but you can pray every day...

Vote!

But remember who is really in charge.

God is...

This activity was suggested to me by a friend of mine, to make a table of what I believe God is and what I think he might be. The purpose is to get a better picture of how I see God.

God is...	God may be...
Love	Patient
Unfailing	Merciful
Unchanging in his character	Tolerant
Truthful
Eternal
Interested in whats best for people
Can not tolerate sin
Real

I found it interesting that the things I wasn't sure of (God may be) have more to do with my uncertainty about the word itself than about my uncertainty of God. What does it really mean to be patient? To be merciful?

I pledge allegiance to the what?

In September of 1892 a youth magazine published a patriotic recitation in honor of the 400th anniversary of Columbus' "discovery" of America. It read as follows:

I pledge allegiance to my Flag,
and to the Republic for which it stands:
one Nation indivisible,
With Liberty and Justice for all

It was intended for school children to recite at the festivities surrounding that Columbus Day. As far as I can tell it was not meant to be a required testament of a person's patriotism. It also did not include the words "under God". That wasn't added until the 1950's. That's actually a slightly separate topic.

I don't pledge my allegiance to my flag, of this country or any other country. I don't pledge my allegiance to any nation or power of this world. I know this makes me all kinds of things that patriots (people who follow the religion of nationalism?) like to say about people who don't immediately conform to their expectations.

I only pledge my allegiance to one Kingdom, and it is not a Kingdom of this world.

Does God really speak to people today?

I have heard God speak to me. At least when it happens, that is what I think is happening. I find that the only time I can really be still and pray with all of my mind is during worship. Being surrounded by a crowd of people singing worship songs seems to be the only thing that will drown out all of the thoughts that constantly race through my brain. I close my eyes and I can finally pray without distraction. It is also when I hear from God.

At least I think its God.

The rational part of my brain questions it. Although I find I question it more when someone else says "God spoke to me" or "God told me". I wonder how they know for sure that it was God and not just their own mind. For myself, I know it is when I get a specific phrase or picture in my mind that doesn't feel like it was my own thoughts. But what does that feeling really mean? I know that plenty of people throughout history have thought that they heard from God. Too many of them "heard" things that are not consistent with the character of God and therefor probably weren't really from God. How do I know that what I think is God, really is God?

Because it really all comes down to that feeling.

And feelings can be wrong.

But feelings can also be inspired. We pray for discernment and we have to trust that when we put that faith in God he is faithful. We have to be careful when we feel we have heard from God, but we can't just ignore it.

Wandering

Some people talk about their faith walk or their faith journey. Looking back it seems more appropriate to call mine a faith wander. Always moving but not in any consistent direction or down any single path. Some core beliefs have been consistent all the way through, but everything else has changed. My wandering is less broad than it used to be, I am keeping to a more narrow set of paths. God is talking to me in ways I don't always understand, and in ways that used to feel familiar but have become more foreign.